Brain Process::
Women - Multiple process
Women's brains designed to concentrate multiple task at a time. Women can Watch a TV and Talk over phone and cook the new recipe.
Men - Single Process
Men's brain designed to concentrate only one work at a time. Men can not watch a TV and talking in phone same time. He stops the TV while Talking. He can either watch TV or talk over phone or cook.
LANGUAGE::
Women can easily learn many languages. Her brain set up. But can not find the solutions to problems Men can not easily learn languages; he can easily solve the problems.
3 year old gal has three times higher vocabulary than 3 year old boy.
ANALYTICAL SKILL::
Men's brain has lot of space for handling the analytical process. So easily he can analyze and find the solution for a process. He can design (blue print) a map of a building easily.
If a complex map is viewed by women, she can not understand it.. She can not understand the details of the map easily. For her it is dump of lines in a paper.
CAR DRIVING::
While driving a car, men's analytical spaces are used in his brain. He can drive a car fast. If he see an object at long distance, immediately his brain classifies the object (bus or van or car) direction and speed of the object and driving accordingly. Where as women take a long time to recognize the object direction / speed. His single process mind stops the audio in the car (if any), then concentrating only on the driving. You can often watch, while men driving the car fastly, the women sit next to him will shout, "GO SLOW" , "CARE FULL", "AAHHH", "OHH GOD.." etc..
LIE::
Many times, when men lie to women face to face, they got caught easily. Her super natural brain observe the facial expression 70%, and the body language 20% and the words comes from mouth 10%. So he is easily caught while lieing.
Men's brain does not have this. Women easily lie to men face to face. So guys, While lieing to your girls, use phone, or letter or close all the lights or cover your/her face with blanket.
Don't lie face to face.....
PROBLEM::
End of day, if men have lot of problems, his brain clearly classifies the problems and put into individual rooms of brain, the problems in individual room of brain and finding the solution one by one. You can see many guys looking on the sky's for a long times. If you disturb him, he gets irritated.
End of Day, if women have lot of problems, her brain can not classify the problems. she wants some one to hear that. After telling everything to a person she goes happily to bed. She does not worry about the problem solved or not.
WANTS::
Men want status, success, solutions, big process... etc
Women want relationship, friends, family...etc. ..
UNHAPPY::
If women unhappy with their relations, she can not concentrate on work.
If men unhappy with their work, he can not concentrate on the relations.
MAP::
Men can easily locate the place in a complex map. His analytical brain does this. While watching a cricket match in a stadium with full of crowd, men can leave his seat to Tea shop and keeps everything in his mind and comes back to his seat without problems. He uses his analytical skills space of brain.
Women can't do this. They often lost their way to their seat.
LIFE::
Life is very easy to Men. One good job, one alcohol bottle is enough for him.
Women want everything in life.
SPEECH::
Women use indirect languages in speech.
Julia asked Vick, "Vick do you like to have a cup of coffee?"
This means, Julia really want a cup of coffee..
In the morning..... .."Darling, do you think, will it be good to have an Omlette for breakfast"
Men use direct language. "Julia, I want to have a cup of coffee, Please stop the car when you see a coffee shop"..
In the morning...." Darling, Can you please prepare an omelet for breakfast".
HANDLING EMOTION::
Women talk a lot without thinking, if they are in emotion.
Men act a lot with out thinking. That's why many of prisoners are men all over the world.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Adam's first erection
Adam and Eve were standing opposite to each other when Adam got his first erection. The two watched, astonished, until Adam suddenly exclaimed, “Move aside -- I don't know how far its gonna go.”
Men and Women ( a small analysis )
Men::
Women::
- All men are extremely busy.
- Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.
- Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.
- Although they don't really care for them, they always have one around.
- Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.
- Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off if the woman leaves them.
- Although the woman leaves them they still don't learn from their mistakes and still try their luck with others.
Women::
- The most important thing for a woman is financial security.
- Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff.
- Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.
- Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.
- Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "an old rag".
- Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still expect you to compliment them.
- Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't believe you.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Joke :: The better choice
“So let me get this straight,” the prosecutor says to the defendant. “You came home from work early and found your wife in bed with a strange man.”
“That’s correct,” replies the defendant.
“Upon which,” continues the prosecutor, “you took out a pistol and shot your wife, killing her.”
“That’s correct,” replies the defendant.
“Then my question to you is,” demands the prosecutor, “why did you shoot your wife and not her lover?”
“It seemed easier,” the defendant says, “than shooting a different man every day!”
“That’s correct,” replies the defendant.
“Upon which,” continues the prosecutor, “you took out a pistol and shot your wife, killing her.”
“That’s correct,” replies the defendant.
“Then my question to you is,” demands the prosecutor, “why did you shoot your wife and not her lover?”
“It seemed easier,” the defendant says, “than shooting a different man every day!”
Joke :: Woman with eight children
A woman had 8 children, all of them boys. So, one day a magazine sent a journalist to her house for an interview.
He asked her about the boys and what their names were; she said, “Johnnie”.
“Right”, he said, “what about that blond one over there?”
“Johnnie”, she said.
“Oh, and the tall one with the freckles?”
“Johnnie”, she said.
“Well, and the little chubby one with the baseball cap?”
“Johnnie”, she said.
“Are all your boys called Johnnie?” he asked, “Isn`t that terribly complicated?”
“Not at all”, she said, “it makes everything very easy, actually. When I shout: Johnnie, tea is ready!, they all come. When I say: Johnnie, it`s time for bed!, they all go to bed.”
“I see. But what if you want only one of them?”
“No problem.” she answers. Then I call them by their surnames.”
He asked her about the boys and what their names were; she said, “Johnnie”.
“Right”, he said, “what about that blond one over there?”
“Johnnie”, she said.
“Oh, and the tall one with the freckles?”
“Johnnie”, she said.
“Well, and the little chubby one with the baseball cap?”
“Johnnie”, she said.
“Are all your boys called Johnnie?” he asked, “Isn`t that terribly complicated?”
“Not at all”, she said, “it makes everything very easy, actually. When I shout: Johnnie, tea is ready!, they all come. When I say: Johnnie, it`s time for bed!, they all go to bed.”
“I see. But what if you want only one of them?”
“No problem.” she answers. Then I call them by their surnames.”
Joke :: Benefits of a 100 dollar tattoo
A man goes to a tattoo artist and says: "I'd like you to tattoo a one-hundred dollar bill onto my dick."
The tattoo artist is surprised: "Well, that could hurt a lot. Why would you want a 100 dollar bill on your dick?"
The man answers, "Three reasons:
I like to watch my money grow
I like to play with my money
And next time my wife wants to blow a-hundred bucks she won't have to leave the house!"
The tattoo artist is surprised: "Well, that could hurt a lot. Why would you want a 100 dollar bill on your dick?"
The man answers, "Three reasons:
I like to watch my money grow
I like to play with my money
And next time my wife wants to blow a-hundred bucks she won't have to leave the house!"
Joke :: Man replacing Rooster
A man was driving down a quiet country lane when out into the road strayed a rooster. Whack! The rooster disappeared under the car in a cloud of feathers.
Shaken, the man pulled over at the farmhouse and rang the doorbell. A farmer appeared.
The man somewhat nervously said, "I think I killed your rooster, please allow me to replace him." "Suit yourself," the farmer replied, "the hens are round the back."
Shaken, the man pulled over at the farmhouse and rang the doorbell. A farmer appeared.
The man somewhat nervously said, "I think I killed your rooster, please allow me to replace him." "Suit yourself," the farmer replied, "the hens are round the back."
Monday, November 19, 2007
Joke :: Tell the truth
A man’s wife asked him to go to the store to buy some cigarettes. So he walked down to the store only to find it closed. With that option out, he ventured into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. But, at the bar he saw a beautiful woman and started talking to her. They had a couple of beers and one thing led to another and they ended up in her apartment.
After they had their fun, he realized it was 3 a.m. and said, “Oh no, it’s so late, my wife’s going to kill me. Do you have any talcum powder?” The woman found him some, which he proceeded to rub on his hands. Then he went home.
His wife was waiting for him in the doorway, and she was quite upset. “Where the hell have you been?”
The man took a deep breath. “Well, honey, it’s like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this great looking chick there and we had a few drinks and one thing led to another and I ended up in bed with her.”
“Oh yeah? Let me see your hands!”
He looked down, and held them out. His wife took one look, and exploded into tears, “You damn liar! You went bowling again!”
After they had their fun, he realized it was 3 a.m. and said, “Oh no, it’s so late, my wife’s going to kill me. Do you have any talcum powder?” The woman found him some, which he proceeded to rub on his hands. Then he went home.
His wife was waiting for him in the doorway, and she was quite upset. “Where the hell have you been?”
The man took a deep breath. “Well, honey, it’s like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this great looking chick there and we had a few drinks and one thing led to another and I ended up in bed with her.”
“Oh yeah? Let me see your hands!”
He looked down, and held them out. His wife took one look, and exploded into tears, “You damn liar! You went bowling again!”
Joke :: All the room I can get!
An American woman of 40 wants to get married, but she is only willing to marry a man if he has never been (sexually) with a woman. After several unsuccessful years of searching, she decides to take out a personal ad.
She ends up corresponding with a man who has lived his entire life in the Australian Outback. They end up getting married. On their wedding night, she goes into the bathroom to prepare for the festivities.
When she returns to the bedroom, she finds her new husband standing in the middle of the room, naked…and all the furniture from the room piled in one corner. “What happened?” she asks.
“I’ve never been with a woman,” he says. “But if it’s anything like screwing a kangaroo, I’m gonna need all the room I can get!”
She ends up corresponding with a man who has lived his entire life in the Australian Outback. They end up getting married. On their wedding night, she goes into the bathroom to prepare for the festivities.
When she returns to the bedroom, she finds her new husband standing in the middle of the room, naked…and all the furniture from the room piled in one corner. “What happened?” she asks.
“I’ve never been with a woman,” he says. “But if it’s anything like screwing a kangaroo, I’m gonna need all the room I can get!”
Joke :: Husband will be home soon!
A married man was visiting his “girlfriend” when she requested that he shave his beard. “Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face.”
James replied, “My wife loves this beard. I couldn’t possibly do it. She would kill me!!”
“Oh please?” the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice…
“Really, I can’t,” he replied. “My wife loves this beard!!”
The girlfriend asked once more, he sighed and finally gave in.
That night James crawled into bed next to his wife while she was sleeping. The wife was awakened, turned toward him, felt his face and said, “Oh Michael, you shouldn’t be here. My husband will be home soon!”
James replied, “My wife loves this beard. I couldn’t possibly do it. She would kill me!!”
“Oh please?” the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice…
“Really, I can’t,” he replied. “My wife loves this beard!!”
The girlfriend asked once more, he sighed and finally gave in.
That night James crawled into bed next to his wife while she was sleeping. The wife was awakened, turned toward him, felt his face and said, “Oh Michael, you shouldn’t be here. My husband will be home soon!”
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