A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard.
She did not recognize them.
She said "I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat."
"Is the man of the house home?", they asked. "No", she replied. "He's out."
"Then we cannot come in", they replied.
In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened. "Go tell them I am home and invite them in!"
The woman went out and invited the men in" " We do not go into a House together," they replied. "Why is that?" she asked.
One of the old men explained: "His name is Wealth," he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, "He is Success, and I am Love."
Then he added, "Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home."
The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed. "How n ice!!", he said. "Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth.
Let him come and fill our home with wealth!"
His wife disagreed. "My dear, why don't we invite Success?" Their daughter was listening from the other corner of the house.
She jumped in with her own suggestion: "Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!" "Let us heed our daughter's advice," said the husband to his wife. "Go out and invite Love to be our guest ."
The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, "Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest."
Love got up and started walking toward the house.
The other 2 also got up and followed him.
Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success: "I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?"
The old men replied together: "If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would've stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him.
Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success !!!!!!"
Friday, August 3, 2007
Life is a Gift
Life is a Gift
There was a blind girl who hated herself just because she's blind.
She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend.
He's alwaysthere for her.
She said that if she could only see the world, she would marryher boyfriend.
One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her and then she can see everything, including her boyfriend.
Her boyfriend asked her, "now that you can see the world, willyou marry me?"The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend is blindtoo, and refused to marry him.
Her boyfriend walked away in tears, and later wrote a letterto her saying."Just take care of my eyes dear."This is how human mental thoughts changes when their status changed.
Only few remember what life was before, and who's always been there even in the most painful situations.
Life Is A GiftToday before we think of saying an unkind word
Think of someone who can't speak.
Before we complain about the taste of our food
Think of someone who has nothing to eat.
Before we complain about our husband or wife
Think of someone who's crying out to God for a companion.
Today before we complain about life
Think of someone who went too early to heaven.
Before we complain about our children
Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.
Before we argue about our dirty house, someone didn't clean or sweep
Think of the people who are living in the streets .
Before whining about the distance we drive
Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.
And when we are tired and complain about our job
Think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wishedthey had our job.
But before we think of pointing the finger or condemninganother
Remember that not one of us are without sin and we all answerto one maker.
And when depressing thoughts seem to get us down
Put a smile on our face and thank God we're alive and still around.
Life is a gift
Live it
Enjoy it
Celebrate it
EMBRACE IT
And fulfill it
Let The LORD & The LIGHT OF THE WORLD Bless You...............
There was a blind girl who hated herself just because she's blind.
She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend.
He's alwaysthere for her.
She said that if she could only see the world, she would marryher boyfriend.
One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her and then she can see everything, including her boyfriend.
Her boyfriend asked her, "now that you can see the world, willyou marry me?"The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend is blindtoo, and refused to marry him.
Her boyfriend walked away in tears, and later wrote a letterto her saying."Just take care of my eyes dear."This is how human mental thoughts changes when their status changed.
Only few remember what life was before, and who's always been there even in the most painful situations.
Life Is A GiftToday before we think of saying an unkind word
Think of someone who can't speak.
Before we complain about the taste of our food
Think of someone who has nothing to eat.
Before we complain about our husband or wife
Think of someone who's crying out to God for a companion.
Today before we complain about life
Think of someone who went too early to heaven.
Before we complain about our children
Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.
Before we argue about our dirty house, someone didn't clean or sweep
Think of the people who are living in the streets .
Before whining about the distance we drive
Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.
And when we are tired and complain about our job
Think of the unemployed, the disabled and those who wishedthey had our job.
But before we think of pointing the finger or condemninganother
Remember that not one of us are without sin and we all answerto one maker.
And when depressing thoughts seem to get us down
Put a smile on our face and thank God we're alive and still around.
Life is a gift
Live it
Enjoy it
Celebrate it
EMBRACE IT
And fulfill it
Let The LORD & The LIGHT OF THE WORLD Bless You...............
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Joke :: Grandma's advice to virgin grand-daughter
There was a virgin that was going out on a date for the first time and she told her grandmother about it.
Her grandmother says, "Sit here and let me tell you about those young boys. He is going to try to kiss you; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that."
She continued, "He is going to try to feel your breast; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that. He is going to try to put his hand between your legs; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that.
Then the grandmother said, "But, most importantly, he is going to try to get on top of you and have his way with you. You are going to like that, but don't let him do that. It will disgrace the family."
With that bit of advice in mind, the granddaughter went on her date and could not wait to tell her grandmother about it.
The next day she told her grandmother that her date went just as the old lady said. She said, "Grandmother, I didn't let him disgrace the family. When he tried, I turned him over, got on top of him and disgraced his family."
Her grandmother says, "Sit here and let me tell you about those young boys. He is going to try to kiss you; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that."
She continued, "He is going to try to feel your breast; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that. He is going to try to put his hand between your legs; you are going to like that, but don't let him do that.
Then the grandmother said, "But, most importantly, he is going to try to get on top of you and have his way with you. You are going to like that, but don't let him do that. It will disgrace the family."
With that bit of advice in mind, the granddaughter went on her date and could not wait to tell her grandmother about it.
The next day she told her grandmother that her date went just as the old lady said. She said, "Grandmother, I didn't let him disgrace the family. When he tried, I turned him over, got on top of him and disgraced his family."
Joke :: The Affair
“The thrill is gone from my marriage,” Bill told his friend Doug.
“Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair?” Doug suggested.
“But what if my wife finds out?”
“Heck, this is a new age we live in, Bill. Go ahead and tell her about it!”
So Bill went home and said, “Dear, I think an affair will bring us closer together.”
“Forget it,” said his wife. “I’ve tried that a couple of dozen times - it didn’t work.”
“Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair?” Doug suggested.
“But what if my wife finds out?”
“Heck, this is a new age we live in, Bill. Go ahead and tell her about it!”
So Bill went home and said, “Dear, I think an affair will bring us closer together.”
“Forget it,” said his wife. “I’ve tried that a couple of dozen times - it didn’t work.”
Joke :: The Three Swordsmen
Once the Shogun gave a reception to honor the best swordsmen in Japan. All the top samurai were in attendance along with Court nobles and beautiful geisha. A geisha approached the third highest ranked swordsmen and asked; "Sir, can you demonstrate your sword skills for me?" At once, the samurai drew his sword a cut a hovering fly in half. "Very impressive", said the geisha. When she saw the samurai who was the second highest ranked swordsmen in Japan she asked him the same question. He immediately drew his sword and cut two pesky flys in half. "Most impressive", said the geisha. Then she spotted the samurai that was the highest ranked swordsmen in all of Japan. "Honorable Sir", she said "would you be so kind as to demonstrate your sword skill for me?". The samurai drew his sword and cut into the air in the direction of a nearby fly, but the fly buzzed away. "Oh, so sorry you missed", said the geisha. "But I didn't miss", said the samurai humbly "that fly will have no offspring."
Joke :: One hole behind
A man playing on a new golf course got confused as to what hole he was on. He saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her and asked if she knew what hole he was playing. She replied, “I’m on the 7th hole, and you’re a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole.” He thanked her and went back to his golf.
On the back nine, the same thing happened, and he approached the lady again with the same request. She said, “I’m on the 14th, you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 13th.” Once again he thanked her.
He finished his round and went into the club house and saw the lady sitting at the end of the bar. He went up to her and said, “Let me buy you a drink to show my appreciation for your help.” He started a conversation and asked her what kind of work she did. She said she was in sales, and he said he was in sales also. He asked what she sold.
She replied, “If I told you, you would only laugh.”
“No, I wouldn’t,” he said.
She said, “I sell tampons.”
With that he fell on the floor laughing so hard.
She said, “See, I knew you would laugh.”
“That’s not what I’m laughing at,” he replied. “I’m a toilet paper salesman, so I’m STILL one hole behind you!”
On the back nine, the same thing happened, and he approached the lady again with the same request. She said, “I’m on the 14th, you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 13th.” Once again he thanked her.
He finished his round and went into the club house and saw the lady sitting at the end of the bar. He went up to her and said, “Let me buy you a drink to show my appreciation for your help.” He started a conversation and asked her what kind of work she did. She said she was in sales, and he said he was in sales also. He asked what she sold.
She replied, “If I told you, you would only laugh.”
“No, I wouldn’t,” he said.
She said, “I sell tampons.”
With that he fell on the floor laughing so hard.
She said, “See, I knew you would laugh.”
“That’s not what I’m laughing at,” he replied. “I’m a toilet paper salesman, so I’m STILL one hole behind you!”
Joke :: Going To Heaven
Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, “Do you want to go to heaven?”
The man said, “I do Father.”
The priest said, “Then stand over there against the wall.”
Then the priest asked the second man, “Do you want to go to heaven?”
“Certainly, Father,” was the man’s reply.
“Then stand over there against the wall,” said the priest.
Then Father Murphy walked up to O’Toole and said, “Do you want to go to heaven?”
O’Toole said, “No, I don’t Father.”
The priest said, “I don’t believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don’t want to go to heaven?”
O’Toole said, “Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now.”
The man said, “I do Father.”
The priest said, “Then stand over there against the wall.”
Then the priest asked the second man, “Do you want to go to heaven?”
“Certainly, Father,” was the man’s reply.
“Then stand over there against the wall,” said the priest.
Then Father Murphy walked up to O’Toole and said, “Do you want to go to heaven?”
O’Toole said, “No, I don’t Father.”
The priest said, “I don’t believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don’t want to go to heaven?”
O’Toole said, “Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now.”
Joke :: The Grand Wish
A guy is walking along the shoreline at the beach. Sure enough he kicks up a bottle, pulls the cork, and out comes the Genie to give him one wish (this happens all the time). He pulls out a map of the Middle East, and asks the Genie if he can bring Peace to this part of the World.
The Genie pales, and says, “Master, these people have been at war since time began. It is their nature, the very fiber of their lives. What you ask is totally impossible. It is probably the only wish I cannot grant you. Ask for anything else and I will make it happen.”
“OK,” the dude says, “Tomorrow morning have my wife awaken me with the best blow job I’ve ever had, on her own, without my begging and pleading. Because SHE LIKES IT, because SHE WANTS TO, because IT TURNS HER ON!!”
The Genie shakes his head and says, “Let me see that map again…”
The Genie pales, and says, “Master, these people have been at war since time began. It is their nature, the very fiber of their lives. What you ask is totally impossible. It is probably the only wish I cannot grant you. Ask for anything else and I will make it happen.”
“OK,” the dude says, “Tomorrow morning have my wife awaken me with the best blow job I’ve ever had, on her own, without my begging and pleading. Because SHE LIKES IT, because SHE WANTS TO, because IT TURNS HER ON!!”
The Genie shakes his head and says, “Let me see that map again…”
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